This is my Writing
On a Saturday night with a beautiful sunset me and my
friend paulah went to go swim with some West Indian
Manatee. First we put on our swimming togs. Then we
skipped our way to the water. We could already see
some West Indian Manatee. We could hear a nice
breeze. It was going through our hair. There was a
beautiful splashing noise which was the waves and the
changing tide. I could feel the cold water and the
seaweed between my toes. While we were swimming
with the West Indian Manatee, I felt a light touch
to my arm under the water. I tried to hold my breath
under the water to see what it was, and what I saw
was amazing to look at. It was a West Indian Manatee
touching my arm. When I got back up to the top of the
water I saw that Paulah already had a friend which was
a West Indian Manatee.
friend paulah went to go swim with some West Indian
Manatee. First we put on our swimming togs. Then we
skipped our way to the water. We could already see
some West Indian Manatee. We could hear a nice
breeze. It was going through our hair. There was a
beautiful splashing noise which was the waves and the
changing tide. I could feel the cold water and the
seaweed between my toes. While we were swimming
with the West Indian Manatee, I felt a light touch
to my arm under the water. I tried to hold my breath
under the water to see what it was, and what I saw
was amazing to look at. It was a West Indian Manatee
touching my arm. When I got back up to the top of the
water I saw that Paulah already had a friend which was
a West Indian Manatee.
This is my recreation with Legacy and Jin
On Saturday night, my friend Paulah and I sat under a
blanket of warmth which streamed down from the
setting sun. In the distance we saw the grey back
of what we could only assume was some different
kind of mammal. It looked a bit like a mermaid!
With excitement, we looked at each other and
realised we had the same idea. We pulled our togs
quickly out of our bags and whipped them on! Then
we skipped our way to the water.
blanket of warmth which streamed down from the
setting sun. In the distance we saw the grey back
of what we could only assume was some different
kind of mammal. It looked a bit like a mermaid!
With excitement, we looked at each other and
realised we had the same idea. We pulled our togs
quickly out of our bags and whipped them on! Then
we skipped our way to the water.
We could hear a fresh calming breeze and it was
flowing gently through our hair. There was a beautiful
splashing noise which was the waves and the changing
tide. I could feel the cold water and the seaweed
squelched between my toes.
flowing gently through our hair. There was a beautiful
splashing noise which was the waves and the changing
tide. I could feel the cold water and the seaweed
squelched between my toes.
Suddenly the mermaid-like creature surrounded us.
I could feel a light swift movement brush over my arm.
I tried to hold my breath under the water to see what
it was, and what I saw was amazing to look at. It was
a West Indian Manatee touching my arm.
I tried to hold my breath under the water to see what
it was, and what I saw was amazing to look at. It was
a West Indian Manatee touching my arm.
face. At once, I knew that she had also seen the
beautiful creature that I had just witnessed.
beautiful creature that I had just witnessed.
When I came back up for air I saw that Paulah had a
massive grin that had spread across her face. At once, I knew that she had also seen the beautiful creature that I had just witnessed.
massive grin that had spread across her face. At once, I knew that she had also seen the beautiful creature that I had just witnessed.
I did more telling in the first story and more showing in the second peace of Writing Remember to show not tell in your Writing
These are Jin and Legacy's blogs
Jin http://pesjins.blogspot.com/
These are Jin and Legacy's blogs
Jin http://pesjins.blogspot.com/
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